You thought I was already overwhelmed with this game? Hahahaha! Not even close. I’m just getting started!
The Clusterfuck
“Alright,” I thought to myself.
“I created my Family Name, and I created my character. Now I can finally play the game.”
If only it were that simple.
The game began loading. I was pulsing with excitement over finally being able start playing this damn game after four hours of choosing a freaking last name and making a character.
Finally, the game was loaded.
And up popped on the screen a smorgasbord of information on the HUD, and I have no idea what any of it was.
“Oh. My. God.”
“What the hell is THIS? What the hell is THAT?”
I was confounded by all this information displaying on the TV.
“CHAT?? Why is there a chat taking up a third of the damn screen?? I don’t want to chat with people! I want to play this game by myself!”
“WHERE THE HELL DO I EVEN GO??”
“WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??”
And then I made the mistake of opening the start menu.
“Ho-ly SHIT!”
“What in the actual fuck is all THIS??”
Jam packed, right in my face, is 40 different icons just from tapping the Start button.
If I wasn’t overwhelmed before, now it’s increased by tenfold.
“Jesus H. Christ. I don’t even know what any of this shit MEANS!”
I gave up on the start menu. It was too much to handle all at once.
Attempting to Play the Game
It took me a good five minutes just to get my bearings straight. I noticed there was a mini map in the top right-hand section of the screen, but I it doesn’t help me if I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.
“Well, shit. I better just start talking to NPCs to see where the hell I am and what the hell I’m supposed to be doing.”
I talked to every NPC in the area, all of them describing something about the ruins nearby.
“OK, I’ve talked to like every single NPC, but I don’t see any ruins anywhere. Great. FML.”
Finally, I somehow talked to the correct NPC, and after accepting the quest, suddenly a path of blue-white arrows led me to my destination.
“Holy shit. It took me 10 minutes just to talk to the right person and figure out where the hell I’m supposed to go. This game better be worth $30.”
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